Coming up on a year!

This September holds some big landmarks days for us. The first has passed - September 13th. My mom's birthday. Same day we received the news that would turn our worlds on end. One single xray, something I hadn't had done for 8 years, would show something that made my otherwise docile grandfatherly doctor very excitable. It was a sort of morbid curiosity and intrigue behind the excitement that was a bit disturbing. The rest was a whirlwind. I remember driving across town, to the hospital, my doctor's office, anyplace I've been where they might have an older chest xray to compare. None. Back to the hospital for a CT scan. Home by 1:00. By 3:00 we had a cardio-thoracic surgeon lined up and a date on the calendar. Still, everyone had assured us it was benign. We wouldn't find out until the day of surgery, Sept. 24th, that it wasn't. Midway through surgery to be precise, when they biopsied a frozen section while I was still lying open on the table. Half my left lung would now be removed, which was still better than the "worse case scenario" (the entire lung would come out) laid out for us days before as the surgeon gave us full disclosure.

I have now completed my second post-treatment check-up with flying colors. While every clean scan is a welcomed relief, I have to admit much of it seems so anti-climatic. You're good (for another 3 months)! To live in such increments is difficult. Having marked a year, I do feel better, more encouraged, more optimistic. I still have a hard time getting much enthusiasm for any real long term plans, but I'm sure that will come, given time.

My fatigue is still high. It's hard to measure as I've never been a morning person to begin with, but now I'm not a morning, afternoon or night person. I keep getting told it is likely residual from the chemo, and may take as much as a year out of treatment to feel back up to full speed. Keeping busy does help stave off the fatigue, but I just fall harder!

I have also become an official hypochondriac. Every little ache and pain now sends off paranoia that the cancer has returned - and spread. Granted, I'm sure entering middle age has nothing to do with it. And knowing all the places lung cancer metastasizes to doesn't help matters along. I'm now under the gentle care of an internist, alongside my oncologist, who is excellent at traversing this road with me without making me feel like a complete idiot.

On other notes, school is back in swing here full force. Our days are busy, which is a good thing to occupy my mind. We are finding more and more ways to break from routine, head outdoors as long as weather permits, and still get much accomplished. The kids are asking for "recesses" this year, where we go for walks in the neighborhood and maybe stop at a park where I read to them books we never seem to find time to get to. It really draws out the school day longer, but nobody is complaining (yet). I am finally having glimpses of what I HOPED home schooling would be like. A taste of success, and an appetite for more.

Our computer also crashed here a few months ago, and I lost ALL of our contacts we had saved in Outlook. Phone numbers, addresses, emails, everything. So if you read this - drop me an email so I can update. Chances are if you haven't heard from me it's because I'm so disorganized and I don't know how to get in touch with you! You can reach me at two4cy@windstream.net.